My dear Jasmin

My dear Jasmin,

I know that if i had not met you, I would not be the person I am today.

I have told you this various of times, but when I stop and think of how I am capable of smiling, I always remember the sweet words you have told me once. You took me away from the reality that I had feared and filled me with the memorable joys that lay within the memories of our childhood. Even when we don’t say a word to each other, we never have the need the question why we aren’t together. You’ve seen my best smiles, my most embarrassing moment, and the fakes of smiles. Now the hands of the clock are ticking, and  my time with you is passing. I do not fear that the bond with you will fade, but will remain the same, but when i think about the distance I already miss you.

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Everything falls in to place..

I wrote a book probably when I was 9 an the things I wanted to accomplish before I was 18. I had this intuition and this belief for a very very long time that I was going to disappear by the time I was 18. Gratefully I have not,.. hurrah? Anyways lately things that I had written are being accomplish one way or another!!, Mostly by the forces of the universe. I kinda love it, but I sort of believe I must  continue in oblivion. That all of “this” is just happening, because it sorta just is. Although I feel like this force is limited and that if i “use it all up” , by the time I am older and need it. It wont be there..but I guess I must just let everything fall the way it wants to, and just be happy, I guess…

The secrets I hide

The reason for the many secrets i keep are not because I don’t want to tell anyone , but rather because I feel that if I say it.. It  will mean I am accepting what I do not want to accept. Can there be a way of having to say it without really saying it? Maybe if someone ask I would be more open, but there really is not any way of having them come up in the every day conversation.

If only….

Have you ever had that certain connection where you seem to feel like they might just have come to understand your ideals, norms, the objects, and people that surround you. BUT just when the image he/ she had of you goes askew everything seems to harshly or even sometimes end…??.. I have come to the conclusion that those sorts of events seem to be what one young lady may call, life changing. There are more important things out there and all one can seem to worry about is about one self, ..I say selfish. Yet you can’t seem to help that gut feeling. At that moment , well for me, it wasn’t that much of an impact, or so I thought. You start to realize, that what you thought was just another coming and going of life. Actually had a bigger impact in you! You see people much differently but it’s not because that person was just another goodbye, but you had actually showed him/her a piece of your world. Yet the moment they left it made you realize or rather feel how something so important to you as your world can be easily taken for granted.

A question yet to be answered.

‘Do you ever stop and think how is it that time moves? Like yes, we are living in what we call “the present”, but what is it exactly? How does it move, and how do we move along with it? We spend on a daily basis doing the same exact thing every day. Wake up, move, eat, digest, bathroom, sleep. And by every passing second, minute, hour, we have completely lost it to the past. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? How do we move into the future while living our entire life in the present. 

 

A little about Yolanda part 1

Yolanda is this girl that I adore!!. She has crazy talent for the arts, her imagination is somewhat wild which fits with her personality. She is a rebel, very much like that stereotypical cool/punk girl you see in those 80’s movies, you know the one with the bad ass boyfriend. You can she the potential she holds. Gorgeous, to the point where she even knows it , and most of the time uses it to her advantage, Sometimes by the way she looks you forget what her true age is.But even if she has a calm and somewhat intimidating appearance she can be incredibly dorky, shy, and extremely self conscious. Not many people get to see this side of her because she hides it. At the moment what she cares most is what boy will she be getting next or what will she be wearing the next day. To be honest its cute, because every girl went through this at a point in her life, but I just wonder and worry if she will grow out of it or will she get caught in the  vicious cycle of MTV moms. ……..

To be continued…

What is important?

I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. When someone has the ability to just sit and talk, with you for hours. You can talk about love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the ticking clock that is our lives coming to a steady and slow stop. Bounded by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.

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